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Tuesday, March 6, 2012

I miss you so much, sweetest one, Wiggles!

I miss you so much, sweetest one, Wiggles!

March 6, 2012

By AWM (Always Wiggles' Mommy) propertyrights@earthlink.net

An old country song says something about only missing someone twice: once a day, all day long, and once a night, from dusk 'til dawn. I know how that feels now, dearest Littlefoot! Yes, Good Boy is doing fine and we're okay and having good times, but that does not diminish how much I miss you. Oh, if only there were a way I could just touch you again, hug your dear self, know you'd be there on the other side of the bed each morning ...

You ARE with me still, now and forever, just in a different form, so my missing you is the missing of your physical self, but dear, sweet Wiggles, I wouldn't ask you to be here one second longer than you were. You stayed so much longer than I knew, and when you gave me that last forty-eight hours, you had already gifted me with months that were precious to me, though you were so sick. Whatever was growing inside you (whether it was or was not cancer doesn't matter), was something you held at bay for so long, and you did it so bravely. You were mortified when you leaked urine or vomited, and you used your big green play ball and 'roughed it up' so ferociously in order to keep things from shutting down your ability to eat, urinate and poop ... though I didn't know it at the time.

Oh, how much you are loved, Wiggles, Many Kisses, my Sweetest One!

This photo I took of you the evening of December 1st, 2010, just a little more than three days before you put your fourth foot into Heaven. You loved me so much -- you Love Me So Much, now and forever! -- that you gave it all you had, trying to stay as long as you could.

If I could tell you again, whispering in one of your dear silken ears, how much you are loved, I would do so in a heartbeat, but you know ... you always knew ...  you will always know!

Here's another photo from that same evening, as you sought to do something, anything, so you could stay longer with your mommy-me.

You, sweet Wiggles Blue Heeler, on your/our first Christmas together, in 1998. You always only had eyes for me, and me, for you!

Always, you know ... not for just an hour

not for just a day

not for just a year

but always


1 comment:

  1. I love you so much, sweet heart! Next month another daylily order will arrive thanks to you: an honorable mention from Oakes Daylilies for my submission of two photos of you with Spider Man daylilies garnered a gift certificate, so I'll be planting more beautiful flowers in our yard and you'll live on, not only in my heart and soul and memory, but also in our yard, and in the form of Good Boy. Thanks to you and God for knowing how much my life and Good Boy's needed to be saved! It's not the same -- how could it be? -- but you've made it possible for me to breathe again/still, though I miss you so keenly and so much yet. You already know all this, but I'm writing it to you because it somehow helps to just say it out loud. Wiggles Wommie, Sweetest One, Many Kisses, Littlefoot, Punkin' Munkin' ... child of my soul, I love you and will always miss you, but Good Boy and I are all right and trying, and mostly succeeding.