With ev'ry beat of your heart, ev'ry stir of your soul ...

With ev'ry beat of your heart, ev'ry stir of your soul ...

Here I am, Person O' Mine! Right here with you,
When my heart stopped beating, I didn't leave you.

I'm inside your heart, helping it heal;
Inside your soul, helping it feel.

The tears are of love, that you shed for me,
I am not gone; I'm hereinsideyou, see?

Look in our yard, look 'round our home;
I didn't go, I didn't roam!

Far from you? There is no way!
I could go, not for forever, or even a day!

God knows our love as He knows our hearts;
He loans us the bodies, but we never part!

When things wear out, as on earth they do,
He tucks us inside the other's "soul shoe."

There to live, comfy-cozy we are,
ALWAYS near-n-dear, never far!

Tonight, as you lie down to sleep,
Feel my paw on your arm, my breath on your cheek.

"Seeing" me isn't just the old way,
It's seeing with our hearts, where we always stay!

Fresh as the day I came into your life,
New as our love, old as the knife

That cuts our hurts and pain away,
And leaves our love, forever 'n' a day!

Where am I? In the love that makes you whole,
With ev'ry beat of your heart, ev'ry stir of your soul ...


By Julie Kay Smithson, forever Wiggles Blue Heeler's mommy, and now Good Boy ACD's mommy, too propertyrights@earthlink.net 


Inspired by this photo of Henry, Shari Reinesto Tyler's beloved dog, who lives forever in her heart and soul: https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=1325863979#!/photo.php?fbid=1942996657696&set=a.1268183427787.2036487.1325863979&type=1&theater and by the great and endless love of Wiggles Blue Heeler for his mommy-me, as evinced by his and God's gift to save two lives: mine and Good Boy's.

Happy Anniversary To Us, Beloved Wiggles Blue Heeler!

Happy Anniversary To Us, Beloved Wiggles Blue Heeler!


September 22, 2011


By Julie Kay Smithson propertyrights@earthlink.net


Thirteen years ago this day, I attended the Farm Science Review north of London, Ohio, and it was there, on Friday Avenue at the southeast corner of the FSR exhibit area, that Wiggles and I laid eyes and hearts on one another and became a pair, a team.

Today has been a good day, a day of calm happiness and contentment, for loving Wiggles -- and being loved by him -- has been so good for me.

Thank you, dear, sweetest one, for all that you gave me, every moment of your life, and even now, nine and a half months after you shed your earthly, worn-out trappings, you continue to love and to give, to me and to Good Boy. I can see you working in him, and see his happiness and trust coming to fruition, thanks to you and to God -- there's no doubt that the two of you continue to bring us miracles!

God and Wiggles Blue Heeler: Dual Lifesaving Duo

God and Wiggles Blue Heeler: Dual Lifesaving Duo


September 19, 2011


By Julie Kay Smithson propertyrights@earthlink.net


People meeting Good Boy -- energetic senior Australian Cattle Dog / ACD / Blue Heeler that God and Wiggles Blue Heeler set on course to join me on March 2, 2001 -- tend to view me as some kind of hero. I am anything but!

The glory for this lifesaving belongs to God and Wiggles Blue Heeler. Like Good Boy, I am a beneficiary in this miracle, but not the worker of the miracle.

It makes me uncomfortable to be cast in such a role when I deserve no such honor. Over and over, I try to communicate that it was not only Good Boy's life on the line in late February, but also mine.

The dozen and more years that Wiggles Blue Heeler graced our home and my life with his physical presence, were proof positive that God loans such souls to those of us in such terrible need of them. My need for Wiggles was beyond my puny ability to describe. Only God, Wiggles and I understand that in its entirety.

When Wiggles' health waned -- and no matter how much effort was put into helping fix whatever was going awry, nothing could stop the march of time -- I knew in my heart that his physical body was wearing out. The best care that could be given, could not stay the inevitable. On Sunday morning, December fifth, 2011, Wiggles could physically remain with me no longer. His fourth paw joined the other three in Heaven.

Life required my continued presence and my time (and still does), but there is no measure of the depth of our love. For some time, I could barely breathe. "Going through the motions" of living is not the same as living.

God and Wiggles put their all into saving not one, but two lives.

Unbeknownst to me, there was a small, abused and/or feral, blind heeler dog two hundred miles to my south, whose life was filled with terror and fear. He was on his own -- for how long, no one knows -- when an animal control officer in Franklin County, Kentucky found this little fellow standing, frozen in fright, next to a flooding stream. It was late February, and that part of Kentucky has very little level real estate; it's mostly Appalachian hills. Factor in the slipperiness of winter, no eyesight with which to navigate -- only the grace of God and this dog's instincts kept him alive. Fearful injuries to his tongue and mouth, eyelid and ear, paled when compared to his terrible toothache. He was having to drink cold water and eat, with at least two completely broken teeth, not counting the few he was already missing. An infection behind his right cornea made his eye not only red, but also sore. How his mind was able to keep him going, is part of the miracle.

The evening of March first, I returned home from visiting a family member. Tired beyond description, I signed in at Facebook. Someone had posted a photo of a cattle dog / blue heeler in need of saving -- not the first cattle dog whose photo I'd seen posted with a plea for help -- but this time, I felt an almost tangible urging from 'somewhere' to help this dog. It was too late to speak with anyone at the shelter, but I phoned and left a message, then called back as soon as it was feasible the next morning. I could come visit the 'small girl' whose photo was posted, I was told, and adoption would be considered.

The details of the next days/weeks/months have already been chronicled. Suffice to say, that dog in need and this woman in need, were melded.

I ask that people not look at me as a hero or miracle worker. Here is where the credit belongs: God still works miracles, and my beloved Wiggles Blue Heeler helped with this one. Good Boy and I are living proof!

Thy sweet self, thy memory and love for me, comfort me

Thy sweet self, thy memory and love for me, comfort me


August 20, 2011


By Julie Kay Smithson, always Wiggles' mommy propertyrights@earthlink.net


Dearest Wiggles Blue Heeler, you who gave me your all, your whole earthly life, still give, each and every day. I feel you and your love, deep in my heart and soul. It is manifest in the way you still shore me up with your love. You come so near to me that I can still whiff your sweet, never 'doggy' fragrance, almost touch your soft and fine fur, and know that you love me, for all time.

It should not surprise me, that you remain so near and dear, after several months have passed. 'Surprise' is not the right word, but in those grief-stricken first days, weeks and months, I dumbly did not understand that your love would be strong enough for me to draw upon, time after time after so many times. Did I think your love had an expiration date, because your earthly time in physical form did? If so, your mommy-me was foolish. I'm unsure what I thought would happen, but what has happened is a gift you continue giving. Your love breaths life into me when the times come that I seem unable to breathe without you. Your all-knowing eyes, which always looked into mine with quiet calmness and utter devotion -- even more exquisite after your physical ability to 'see' with those eyes had passed (I thought) -- still hold my gaze, still thrill my soul.

You and God weave so many miracles in my life, including that that is Good Boy. I am so 'short' with him sometimes, so unable to give him the unconditional love that my soul tells me he cries out for in his mute countenance, with his shy efforts to win my love. Wiggles, you are there in him so clearly, so strongly, and yet ... I cannot yet bring myself to simply fall to my knees and thank you, much as my actions should honor you in that way. Every moment of your life -- and now, in your eternal life and love -- you led me by your example. Why am I so fearful of allowing your love to completely flow through me and seep out into Good Boy's world? Do I fear that, if that happens, I'll somehow lose the strength that you give me to go on? I do not know. It is a complex thing, living here with your physical self ... I cannot bring myself to say 'gone,' for you are not 'gone.' You understand what words fall short of expressing at this time. You love me so completely that it does not matter if I cannot utter the 'right words.' Here I sit, trying to make my stunted, small self -- which cries out that you are not here, even when my soul knows that you are, and that you always will be with me -- believe that there are only one set of footprints, when I can see only one. Fool that I am, dearest Wiggles. When you needed to be carried, I would always pick you up and carry you. How can I not see and accept that you now carry me?

The Face Of Love

The Face of Love

Wiggles Blue Heeler

who trod the earth from Sunday morning, July 19th, 1998,

until Sunday morning, December 5th, 2010.

June 19, 2011



By Julie Kay Smithson, Always Wiggles' Mommy



Nothing I can say will be able to convey my love for you, child of my soul. We knew each other so well. Your love for me was so ... so much like God's love, and now that you divide your time between my heart-n-soul and Heaven, you know that what I sang to you softly was true, is true, & will always be true:

I'll be loving you, Always! With a love that's true, Always! When the things [we've] planned need a helping hand [God will understand], Always, Always. Days may not be fair always. That's when I'll be there, Always! Not for just an hour, Not for just a day, Not for just a year, but Always!

God loaned you to me here on earth for over a dozen years, but our souls are one forever. My little boo, you are loved by me as I am loved by you, always and forever, more than words can say!

Wiggles: Six months today, dear heart

Wiggles: Six months today, dear heart

 

 

June 5, 2011

 

 

By Wiggles' Mommy, always Wiggles' Mommy, Julie Kay Smithson propertyrights@earthlink.net

 

 

Six months ago, life for Wiggles Blue Heeler and I as we knew it, changed forever. The lurking, growing unseen presence within his midsection had grown -- from something that added enough pressure to make him leak urine almost two years earlier -- to a mass that now was shutting down his ability to urinate or defecate. Wiggles, he of great heart and even greater love, could not go on in his earthly form any longer.

 

What could I say, now that we'd come "down to the wire" and my promise was being called? Wiggles had never let me down. He'd always been there for me, and now I had to be there for him, keeping my promise to not let him suffer.

 

A little after five in the morning on Sunday, December 5th, I awakened to see ever-faithful Wiggles stretched out in clear discomfort, perpendicular to me, his front feet off the bed, trying to buy a little more precious time, a few more breaths without struggle. He and I knew, when we lay down to grab a little sleep just four hours earlier, that this would be our last time to be physically near each other on this earthly plane.

 

We didn't have to talk about it or fight it any more. I called the emergency veterinarian I'd spoken with the night before, letting her know that it was time for us to meet her and her assistant. She asked if nine o'clock would be okay. I replied, "No." She inquired, "Eight o'clock, then?" I spoke words that, even now, seem unreal. "We need you to meet us as soon as you can get there, about seven o'clock."

 

Now things seemed to slow down. Wiggles actually got down off the bed by himself and went out the front door and down the steps on his own, knowing, I'm certain, that this was our last ride in the little blue truck. I can't remember if I helped him up in the truck, but it seems that I did (he'd always jumped in on his own before). Then we were off, taking the smoothest possible route so as not to jar his bulging midsection and make him hurt. Down the state highway to the interstate, going up to legal speed and a little more, we had only fifteen miles to cover to get to the exit where ...

 

As we got within a half-mile of the exit for Wilson Road, I reached over to pat his head gently and put a hand up across him so he wouldn't be jarred as we took the ramp. For the first time in his life, Wiggles was trembling under my hand, his head transmitting the pain to me.

 

I gave him all I had in assurance and love. "Hold on, sweetheart. We're almost there. I won't let you hurt anymore." When we got to the clinic, the lady vet and her young assistant were arriving at the same time. One of them held my door open, and I carried Wiggles, his bed and thick towel, as the other held the door of the clinic for us. Paperwork was signed, a 'sleepy shot' was given (the only time I ever heard Wiggles yelp in pain, because he was tense with the pain that he still endured without a whimper -- then the sleepy shot helped him relax, though he still remained upright, though lying, his dear face consigned to the moment at hand. He kissed me one last time for now, and kissed the vet and her assistant to reassure them that all was okay.

 

At seven-fourteen on this crystal-clear Sunday morning in December, Wiggles, child of my soul and my best friend for this lifetime and eternity, was whisked back into God's arms. Someday, we'll be rejoined in joy, but at that moment, all that mattered was that this dearest, gentlest of souls was no longer hurting, and was free at last from his earthly bonds of age.

 

I love you, Wiggles, forever. You know me, like God does, better than I'll ever know myself. Thank you for all your love, love that surpasses everything, and swaddles me always. Get ready, dear one! My soul will flee earth one day and rejoin you forever!

It's personal

It's Personal


May 11, 2011


By Julie Kay Smithson propertyrights@earthlink.net


I took Wiggles' life personally, made every effort to give him the best food, the freshest water, lots of great places to play and walk and sleep, and yet ... time took its toll. The ravages of age crept up on him, and although I didn't want to see it, looking back now on the many photos I took of him over the years, it's clear that he wasn't feeling 'up to snuff' as early as midway through 2008, more than two years before he returned to Heaven.

From the first time we laid eyes on each other, we were a pair, a team, a match made in Heaven. Wiggles and I knew each other so well, were so attuned to each other that we often felt like one rather than two. We enjoyed life immensely, loved to work and play, walk and run, dream and sleep the sleep that comes from days well lived.

Wiggles Blue Heeler lives within me still; he always will. There is no doubt in my mind that a big part of me lives in his soul for all eternity. Here of late, Wiggles comes to me in a new way, through the life of Good Boy, the blind senior blue heeler (Australian Cattle Dog / ACD) that God and Wiggles sent me to rescue on March 2nd, 2011.

As I work in our yard and do springtime things like scrub and refill birdbaths, replenish topsoil, pull weeds, etc., I'm keenly aware of  Wiggles' presence. He is looking out for me as he always did -- as he always will -- and the sweetness of his love and loyalty still knocks me to my knees in prayers of thanksgiving!

Good Boy is learning to trust and become my dog, and Wiggles has a paw in this process. It's clear that Wiggles is guiding Good Boy in his antics, and sometimes I can almost see Wiggles in his old spot on the other couch, quietly watching me with eyes of utmost love and affection, letting me know that he is glad my heart is healing. Still, at some time each day and night, the lump rises in my throat and tears sting my eyes as the tsunami of grief comes washing o'er me.

For all the well-meaning, kind folks that try to understand, there are no words to offer them that sound anything but strange, even to me. They cannot know -- how could they know? -- the bond, the love, the two-halves-of-one-whole, that Wiggles and I were, are and always will be.

Good Boy is here in our home, going places with me in our lil truck, and enjoying our yard. He has come so far from his first days and weeks of pain and abject terror. Wiggles has helped me to help Good Boy, shoring me up when fatigue and frustration threatened to overwhelm me. Wiggles has been always with me through family issues, ever loyal and loving, no matter how strained things have been.

It's personal, this love of ours, and yet, I must write about it, because writing about it is like giving Wiggles another 'hugabug,' a way to wrap his dear self in my embrace and drink in his sweet fragrance (never, ever 'doggy') and hold his silken paw in my hand. As his book is written, and the chapters come out to meet the world, I will still take it personally, because no one else can share the miracles of Wiggles but me. For that, there are no words to encompass everything, but I will personally share fifty sweet memories of him. Each will be a gift from him, through me to readers, to soak into hardened or broken hearts and heal them. Wiggles lived every moment to love me, and he needs for me to share as much as I am able, what he was about during the dozen years he trod this earth as my-dog-but-so-much-more.

Stand by, world! Distilling the love of Wiggles cannot be rushed, though I know it is needed by so many. As I take it personally, it will be his to give the world, one heart at a time.